You have... one new message

Hi you’ve reached the voicemail of <insert name>…

Yeah, I know who I called.

…I can’t answer the phone right now…

No shit Sherlock.

…but if you leave me a message with your name and number…

Ooooh, so that’s how this fandangled message thingumy works.

…I’ll be sure to call you back.

Leaving a message is not exactly rocket surgery is it.  So why do people still feel the need to spell out all the steps required in the process?

Worse still are those people who actually leave a message.

Hi, it’s <insert name>…

Yeah, I know, heard of caller ID?

…it’s 10.30am on Wednesday morning…

Seriously, people actually still do that.  You know who you are.

…I was just calling to…

Ok stop right there.  We are no longer in the 80s.  We all have email now.  And texting.  Not to mention a wide variety of social media at our disposal.

It’s just a pain in the neck.  You have to dial the number to access voicemail.  Then enter your PIN.  Then listen while Robot Voicemail Man tells you that you have   *pause*   one new message.

Then you have to listen to it.  Then replay it cos it’s not quite clear (sssh I’m trying to listen) or you have to write something down (where’s a pen) or just cos your mind wandered (ooh, a bird).

Goodness knows how many voice messages I’ve got on my various phones.  I don’t listen to them.  I don’t delete them.  Eventually they will expire and disappear into the ether never to be played back.

Send me a text people.  Or email me.  Write on my Facebook wall even.  

If you don't have my mobile number, or my email address, and you're not my friend on Facebook then there's a good chance you're after me for money. 

If that's the case, please leave me a message with your name and phone number and I'll get back to just as soon as I can.