Naked Bums

I've always felt that using a public toilet is like pressing naked bums with a stranger.

That's why I hover.

When I say "public" toilet, I mean that in the true sense of the word.  "Public" as in any person who is in the vicinity and needs to pee can use it.

But there's that in-between toilet where it's not exactly public, but nor is it your own private ensuite sanctuary.

It's the work toilet.

It would appear that not everyone knows the correct work toilet etiquette.  In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that I am the only one who does know the correct WTE.

The most important WTE rule is this:  If I've got my knickers around my knees, I'm not up for a chat.

My mind boggles every time someone wants to have a polite conversation with me while I'm peeing.

The door is closed ladies.  It's even locked.  This means no talking.  Ever.

What if I phoned you from the toilet for a chat?  How would you like that?  Not much, I suspect.  So why is it ok in real life?  The simple answer is that it's not.  So stop it.

In a perfect world, I'd have my own personal work toilet so that I'd never to have to encounter anyone else there.  This would avoid that awkwardness when you enter the ladies and there is already someone there.

You've spent all day on the same floor as them.  You may not have exchanged a single word.  But for some reason when coincidentally you both need to relieve yourselves at the same time this is a cue for a chat.

About what?  Not about peeing, that would be inappropriate (?!?).  In fact, you don't even acknowledge that you're in the ladies.  You might as well be in the kitchen, or the lift.

What I really want to say at times like this is:  "I'm here to pee. If I want to talk to you I'll come and see you, but right now I'm here for one purpose and one purpose only.  And it's not for a chat."