(If you are not female and do not live in New Zealand, move along, there’s nothing to see here.)
Does anyone ever buy anything at full price from Briscoes?
Is it even possible?
You can’t flick aimlessly through the TV channels without having the shite scared out of you by Crazy Briscoes Lady, grinning manically as she folds towels or flicks sheets.
She’s like something out of a Stephen King novel.
Yet CBL has fanclubs. And Facebook groups. People blog about her (truly). There’s even been the suggestion that she and Vince Martin should hook up.
If I met her in real life I suspect she’d be one of those women who make me feel inadequate. My coffee mugs don’t match. Some even have chips in them. I don’t have nice tableware, because we never eat at the table. I don’t have fresh flowers anywhere in the house. In fact, you’d be lucky to find fresh fruit.
Her real name is Tammy Wells. She even sounds like someone out of a Stephen King novel.
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Before selling her soul to Briscoe's, or doing a Ken Barlow as they say in the trade, Ms Wells, or Miss Schnacksweter as she was originally known, was an aspiring back line chorus dancer for the NZ Ballet Company in the early 80s. From there, she moved into swimsuit and lingerie modelling, while attempting to develop a career as a cabaret performer.
ReplyDeleteNow she has regular work on prime time television and is stereo typed for life.